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Divorce mediation is less expensive:
- requires only one mediator as opposed to two or more attorneys
- no time wasted waiting in court (while paying the attorneys)
- no need to use attorneys to relay messages between the parties
- avoids costly "disclosure" motions and process
Divorce mediation is faster:
- avoids delays; parties communicate directly with each other, not through attorneys
- no need to wait for court dates
- avoids repeated trips to court
- avoids the need to accommodate the schedules of several attorneys
- promotes cooperation rather than competition
Divorce mediation is more private and informal:
- conversations and information revealed in mediation are confidential
- discussions take place in a private office, not on the witness stand in a public courtroom
- there are no complicated or mandatory procedures to follow
Divorce mediation is more effective:
- encourages consideration of a greater variety of options and solutions
- allows each party to express underlying emotions and concerns
- promotes greater trust, understanding, acceptance and cooperation
- focuses on plans for the future, rather than on blame for the past
- increases the likelihood that the parties will honor the agreement after the divorce
Divorce Mediation is voluntary:
- there are no court orders or motions to compel compliance or attendance
- the agreement is created by the parties, and is not imposed by judges or attorneys
- can be terminated by either party at any time
Divorce mediation is more flexible:
- there is no court-ordered schedule to follow
- can be conducted even when the courts are closed (evenings, weekends, holidays)
- more creative and flexible options and solutions available
- permits discussion of subjects and feelings not ordinarily permitted in litigation
Divorce mediation protects the family:
- parties create an agreement tailored to their unique family situation
- promotes cooperation rather than competition, thus reducing stress and disruption
- focuses on future solutions and opportunities, not on past blame and old problems
- encourages respect for the other party, including his/her role as a parent
- promotes adherence to agreement, thus discouraging future litigation
- keeps the children from being "caught in the middle"
Dealing with conflict
Divorce mediation does not provide an "escape" from conflict. However, whereas litigation thrives on conflict--thus discouraging cooperation and communication—divorce mediation encourages you to focus on shared interests and goals by providing a safe place where you and your spouse can express your fears, your anger, your pain and your disappointments. You then can cooperatively and civilly address those unresolved conflicts that have brought about your decision to divorce. Left unaddressed, these conflicts often undermine divorce settlements, causing many couples to continue their battle for years to come.
Finding the courage within
Divorce mediation requires that both spouses take responsibility for their own feelings, their individual needs, and their roles as partners and parents. You may worry that you are not strong enough to express yourself clearly and firmly, or to stand up to your spouse's demands. Admittedly, divorce mediation requires courage: courage to meet face-to-face with your spouse, courage to listen open-mindedly, courage to disagree without blaming or criticizing, courage to express and pursue your own needs. However, divorce mediation helps you discover and develop your own inner strengths and self-respect; divorce mediation helps you find the courage within yourself.
The rewards of being courageous
You cannot show courage by hiring an attorney to "protect" you. By using the legal system to shield you from your spouse, you give up your voice, your power, your right to determine what is best for you and your family--you become a mere bystander as attorneys and judges decide your future. Furthermore, you give up the opportunity to identify and address underlying issues that have contributed to your decision to divorce. Finally, choosing litigation rather than divorce mediation robs you of the opportunity to learn valuable lessons from your divorce experience, lessons that can help make the rest of your life happier and more productive.
Divorce mediation gives you a voice, empowers you, and allows you to grow emotionally; litigation takes away your voice, paralyzes you, and keeps you stuck in the past.
Mediation helps point you in the right direction
towards a
brighter future
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